CLOSE YOUR EYES,

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

relationship is bad. it kills you.
but then again, we need it. ironic. and i hate it.

everything seems to be wearing me out. lately, i found myself clinging on to unreality. it should be okie by now. but it's now. maybe it's just getting worst. maybe it's just the start of a wonderful journey. maybe, im just pushing myself to the edge again, and without a doubt, i will fall again in the pit i once crawled out from.

im not like how i used to be. it seems like my whole world is changing. i lose part of my self-humour. jokes dont crack me up like how it does in the past. friends are pushed way back of my mind. it's not everything now. i see poly as a place to achieve a certificate and to get out. it's not a place i want to be, but where i had to be. i spend time being alone. soon, i was walking out of the school gate, going home myself.
each day, i found myself having lesser and lesser reasons to smile. the past catches up on me, and i dont really have a suitable person to share my memories with. maybe i do. but i just dont want to make them bored of what i have to say. or to arose any mixed feelings. maybe that's adulthood.

"it takes two freaking hands to clap", and i see myself swinging my palm on air.
games are good. they kill time. work's better. but i hate talking to people now a days. i just want to type what i want to say out. not say it out loud.

i hate this.
ih wells.

12919261, 7:31 AM